Before 01/05

How could they not know???
 
The Transportation Security Administration revealed in March that, in the last 12 months, airline passengers at U.S. airports had been found by screeners to have tried to board with 4.8 million prohibited items, including 1.4 million knives, 1,100 guns, 125,000 incendiary items and 40,000 box-cutters.  And in February, a 45-year-old Japanese tourist attempted to board a flight at Miami International Airport carrying a canister of gasoline, two boxes of matches and a barbecue grill, and he was taken into custody when he refused to give them up.
[CNN-AP, 3-10-03] [CNN-AP, 2-18-03]


The meaning of the word "stop"

University of Manitoba professor Rod Yellon's appeal of his 1998 traffic ticket for running a stop sign was rejected in February, and it appears he will now have to pay the fine, equal to about US$35.  Yellon's strategy alternated between complaining of being oppressed and boycotting court proceedings, and in fact he was convicted in absentia.  He refuses to pay the ticket because he thinks the word "stop" on a stop sign is too vague and that the government should set precisely calibrated standards of what it means to "stop."
[Winnipeg Free Press, 2-26-03]


Undignified Deaths

A 90-year-old woman was fatally crushed when a clumsy, 485-pound circus bear performing at a retirement home tripped over her wheelchair and fell on her (Hanover, Germany, August).  A 52-year-old woman delivering newspapers before dawn on her motorcycle was killed when she accidentally ran head first into the rear end of a racehorse being walked along a road to a nearby stable (Utsunomiya, Japan, January).  And, from a New Orleans Times-Picayune obituary that contains no explanation: "Eric D. 'Big Head' Vicks, a laborer, died Jan. 20 of a head injury."
[Reuters, 8-7-02]   [Mainichi Daily News 1-27-03]   [Times-Picayune, 1-28-03]

Check this link to The Mindreader!

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Government  Spending
2/04
While the Statue of Liberty remains shuttered for lack of $5
million in post-September 11 upgrades, Congress in January
mandated $10.7 billion in "earmarked" projects (also known as
home-state "pork"), including: $50 million for an indoor rain forest
in Iowa, $50 million to make sure a Florida beach resort bridge
remains toll-free, $450,000 to decipher the gene structure of
rainbow trout, $225,000 to repair a public swimming pool whose
drain U.S. Rep. Jim Gibbons of Nevada clogged with tadpoles
when he was a kid, $200,000 to introduce golf to youngsters,
$90,000 for the Cowgirl Hall of Fame, and, ironically, $500,000 for
a University of Akron program that analyzes how Congress makes
difficult budget decisions.


Major Distribution
12/03
In December, payoff checks started arriving from Citibank's
class-action lawsuit settlement that required it to refund
overcharges for credit-card fees, but since the $18 million payout
had to be split among 20 million customers and former customers,
the checks were for as little as 4 cents, while the lawyers who
brought the lawsuit shared $7.2 million. A major Citibank "abuse"
corrected by the lawsuit: It was charging interest from 10 a.m. on
the payment-due date but agreed to start charging it only as of 1 p.m.


Voting Woes
1/04
Déjà Vu All Over Again: In January, in Florida's first election
using all touch-screen balloting (following the state's 2000
presidential fiasco), Ellyn Bogdanoff won a special election for a
state House seat from Broward County by 12 votes out of about
10,000 cast, but the losing candidate was considering a challenge
over the 134 "voters" who had gone into the booths but for whom
no votes were registered.  (By the way, in January in San Antonio,
Tex., Chad Allen Tolleson was arrested for burglarizing a store by
climbing in through a ventilation duct; however, he got stuck, and
early-arriving employees who found him dangling from the ceiling
now refer to him as "Hanging Chad.")


Watch Those Bug Bombs!
12/03
And a home at 3715 Euclid Avenue in San Diego, Calif., was completely
demolished when a pilot light ignited the 19 bug bombs the
homeowner had set; one canister would have been plenty lethal for
the small area, but 19 yielded a bomb 28 times more powerful than necessary.

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Before 01/03

KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER
(the actual AP headline)


Linda Brunette, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and
while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.  Several
people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up, her eyes
closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.


One customer who had been in the store became concerned and walked over to
the car.  He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very
strange.  He asked her if she was okay, and she replied that she'd been shot
in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for
 over an hour.


The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors
were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head.  When they
finally got in, they found that she had a wad of bread dough on the back of
her head.  A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded in the heat, making a
loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in
the back of the head.  When she reached back to find out what it was,
she felt the dough and thought it was her brains.


She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her
brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.



And, yes,...... Linda is a blonde.

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Response Time
(Don't try this at home.)

I was going to bed the other night when my wife told me that I had left the light on in the garage, she could see from the bedroom window.  As I looked for myself, I saw that there were people in the garage taking things.

I phoned the police, but they told me that no one was in his area to help at  this time, but they would send someone over as soon as they become available.  I said OK, hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the  police back.

"Hello. I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my  garage.
Well, you don't have to worry about them I shot them all."

Within three minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works.
Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the officers said: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
I replied with "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
(submitted by Elliot, 3/02)

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HOT-FOOTING IT:   (3/7/02) 
Carl Franklin, 30, was spotted by police in Tallahassee, Fla., standing with his pants around his ankles.  Officer Seth Stoughton figured Franklin was trying to urinate on the street and shouted at him to pull up his pants.  He did -- and ran, with Stoughton in pursuit.  Franklin, however, had apparently put a lit cigarette in his pocket before dropping his pants, and the wind generated by his running helped it light his pants on fire.  "His pocket was outlined in red, and it was clearly smoldering," Stoughton said.  Franklin, who had not buckled his pants, lost his grip and they fell to his ankles, tripping him.  Stoughton tried to put out the fire as Franklin tried to get away.  "About halfway to the jail, he was still shouting that his pants were on fire."
(submitted by Elliot, 3/02)

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The 'Le Woogie' Card Trick!

Amazing!!!!!!!!  It actually works............



 The 'Le Woogie' Card Trick           Performed by: Le Woogie
Pick one of the following cards. Don't click on it; just keep it in your head.

scroll down when you have your card,
















Think about your card for 20 seconds in front of Le Woogie.

Le Woogie will attempt to read your mind!
Scroll down after 20 Seconds











The Great Le Woogie Has Removed Your Card!

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Before 12/01:

Bungling Burglars  (2/17/01)
Police in Tallahassee, Fla., arrested two men when they returned to a house shortly after allegedly stealing two television sets.  Jaron Grosby and Wesley Jackson, both 20, were charged with burglary when found outside the house with the loot.  Why return to the scene of the crime after giving the police enough time to arrive?  They admitted to the officers that they forgot to grab the remote controls for the TVs, and had come back for them.  (AP)

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