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-0-9-
404: Someone who's clueless.
"Don't bother asking him; he's 404." From the WWW
error message "404 Not Found," meaning the requested document
couldn't be located. (9803)
-A-
ADMINISTRIVIA All those administrative things you
do that you feel are trivial in nature.
AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to
turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
ASSMOSIS The process by which some people seem to absorb
success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working
hard. (9803)
AUTOMAGICAL (aw tow mah' gik all) adj. Similar to
automatic, but happens in a way no one can define.
-B-
BEEPILEPSY The brief seizure people sometimes have when
their beeper goes off (especially in vibrator mode). Characterized by
physical spasms, goofy facial expressions and interruption of speech in
mid-sentence. (9803)
BLAMESTORMING Sitting around in a group discussing why a
deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. (9803)
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-C-
CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act,
when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a
dozen times, reaching overand picking it up, examining it, then putting
it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
CHAINSAW CONSULTANT An outside expert brought in to reduce the
employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands. (9803)
CHIPS AND SALSA Chips = hardware, salsa = software.
"Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or
your salsa." (9803)
CLUEFUL Someone who is beginning to figure things
out; full of clues. (9903)
COTTYWAMPUS A big mess. (2006,05 from Heather in
Bucyrus, OH)
CREATIZE To become (or
cause to become) someone or something to be more creative. (Bill-anguage
9803)
CUBE FARM An office filled with cubicles. (9803)
-D-
DANCING BALONEY Little animated GIFs and other Web F/X
that are useless and serve simply to impress clients. "This page is
kinda dull. Maybe a little dancing baloney will help." (9803)
DEPAUPERATE de·pau·pe·rate ( P ) Pronunciation Key
(d-pôpr-t) adj. Arrested in growth or development;
stunted. Severely diminished; impoverished: “But there were no
pleasures in Australia. How could my friend admire so paleontologically
depauperate a place?” NOTE: You can use this to
compliment someone and they will never know the
difference.
:-) (0402)
DEPOTPHOBIA Fear associated with entering a Home Depot
because of how much money one might spend. Electronics geeks
experience Shackophobia. (9803)
DIALOGUY (di uh log' ee) adj. Wordy, chatty, overly talkative.
DISCONFECT (dis kon
fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by
blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.
DYNANIMITY - of a potential dyamic nature. "It has
great dynanimity."
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-E-
EGO SURFING Scanning the Net, databases, print media
and so on, looking for references to one's own name. (9803)
ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering
for one armrest in a movie theater.
EXPERTISS (ex' pur tiss) n. A very smart person who is
generally thought of as possessing great amounts of expertise.
-F-
FLIGHT RISK Used to describe employees who are
suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.
FLINK Something that doesn't float or sink.
(word used by a national fast food chain)
FPOON A Fr*sty and a spoon, used together.
(word used by a national fast food chain)
FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be
swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until
he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
-G-
GOING POSTAL Euphemism for being totally stressed
out, for losing it. Makes reference to the unfortunate track
record of postal employees who have snapped and gone on shooting
rampages. (9803)
GOOD JOB A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job.
A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that
they will quit as soon as they're solvent again. (9803)
GREENIOUS Gross, as in the green color of
gross; unappealing to the eye, nose, touch, taste, or smell (but
especially the eye).
GREST Similar to the word "great", but just a
little too much great, as in, "Have a grest day." (0103)
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-H-
-I-
IDEA HAMSTERS People who always seem to have their idea
generators running. (9803)
IRREGUARDLESS (ear re gard' less) ?. Without, without
guarding again, as in you guarded something the first time, so why would
you not, not want to guard it again?
IRRITAINMENT Entertainment and media spectacles that are
annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The
O.J. trials were a prime example. (9803)
-J-
-K-
KEYBOARD PLAQUE The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud
found on computer keyboards. (9803)
-L-
LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n.
Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly
that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.
-M-
MIDAIR PASSENGER EXCHANGE Grim
air-traffic-controller-speak for a head-on collision. Midair
passenger exchanges are quickly followed by "aluminum rain."
(9803)
MOUSE POTATO The online, wired generation's answer to
the couch potato. (9803)
MUSCEL (muss' sell) n. A fiborous part of Bill's body that
provides great strength. (Contributed by StephenG,
12y). (0002)
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-N-
-O-
OHNOSECOND That minuscule fraction of time in which you
realize that you've just made a big mistake. (9803)
-P-
PEBCAK Tech support shorthand for
"Problem Exists Between Chair and Keyboard." **Techies
are a frustrated, often arrogant lot. They've submitted numerous
acronyms and terms that poke fun at the clueless users who call them up
with frighteningly stupid questions. Another variation on
the above is ID10T: "This guy has an ID-Ten-T on his
system."** (9803)
PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy
restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners
if they want ground pepper.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE The fine art of whacking the crap out of
an electronic device to get it to work again. (9803)
PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone
number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
PRAIRIE DOGGING When someone yells or drops something loudly in
a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's
going on (see Cube Farm). (9803)
PUKKA pukka \PUK-uh\ adjective :
genuine, authentic; also : first-class Example sentence:
Ellingsworth stood framed in the door of his club, the picture of a
pukka gentleman, immaculately groomed, upper lip appropriately stiff,
perfectly genteel. NOTE: Don't you think this
word should mean something other than genuine or authentic? :-)
(0402)
PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window
after a dog presses its nose to it.
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-Q-
-R-
-S-
SEAGULL MANAGER A manager who flies in, makes a lot of
noise, "deposits" all over everything and then leaves. (9803)
SITCOMs What yuppies turn into when they have
children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. (9803)
SNACK NAZI The guy at school
whose sole job is to sneak around looking for people with food or drinks
in computer labs. Takes great pleasure in ranting and raving to
all within earshot. (9905 - contributed)
SOQUID A solid combined with a liquid.
(word used by a national fast food chain)
SQUARE-HEADED GIRLFRIEND Another word for a computer. The
victim of a square-headed girlfriend is a "computer widow."
(9803)
SQUIRT THE BIRD To transmit a signal to a satellite.
(9803)
STRESS PUPPY A person who seems to thrive on being
stressed out and whiny. (9803)
SWIPED OUT An ATM or credit card that has been rendered
useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
(9803)
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-T-
TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act
of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up,
even when you're only six inches away.
TELEPHONE NUMBER SALARY A salary (or project budget) that
has seven digits. (9803)
TOURISTS People who take training classes just to get a
vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious students in the
class; the rest were just tourists." (9909)
TREEWARE Hacker slang for documentation or other printed
material. (9909)
-U-
UBIQUITOUS A determination of value in a relationship
between people or groups. If I think you are a great guy who gets
along with the rest of the group, I would say, "U Bik Wit Us."
(9903)
UNINSTALLED Euphemism for being fired.
Heard on the voicemail of a vice-president at a downsizing computer
firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled vice
president. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for
assistance." See also Decruitment. (9803)
-V-
VULCAN NERVE PINCH The taxing hand position required to
reach all of the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance,
the re-boot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the
Control key, the Command key, the Return key and the Power On key.
(9803)
VERBAGIOUS One who enjoys verbiage and uses it
extensively; sometimes even excessively. (0008)
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-W-
-X
XEROX SUBSIDY Euphemism for swiping free
photocopies from one's workplace. (9909)
-Y-
YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out
of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after
a meal: "We all owe $8 each, but all anybody's got is yuppie food
stamps." (9803)
-Z-
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